


Quicksand

by ScotchTapeChinaTown



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marauders - Fandom
Genre: Hogwarts, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Slow Burn, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:40:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28752324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScotchTapeChinaTown/pseuds/ScotchTapeChinaTown
Summary: We first meet Sirius Black on platform 9 3/4 where he leaves his mother and younger brother Regulus behind to start his life at Hogwarts. We follow Sirius as he tries to find his place in a world full of love & hate and life & death + all the stuff in between.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 5





	1. Year one: The beginning

##### Wednesday September 1st, 1971

Sirius stepped through the wall and onto the platform followed by his mother Walburga and his younger brother Regulus. Walking along the platform Regulus is glued to Sirius' arm, pulling down on his sleeve. A house-elf is a bit behind them pushing a trolly along with Sirius' baggage, a big fancy trunk decorated with serpents and various details.

"Regulus," a sharp voice snapped "behave, that's no way to walk!" Walburga grabbed the boys shoulder and pulled him from Sirius. The younger boy's eyes slowly filled with tears "Reg, don't, hey" Sirius tried to comfort his crumbling brother and reached out, but quickly retreated catching a look from his mother.

A whistle blew

"Reg," Sirius crouched down slightly "it's going to be okay, I promise, next year you'll be going too. Just hold on for a year," Sirius was sure to speak lightly so his mother wouldn't hear, she was currently having a go at the house-elf for having touched the trunk. "Hold on for a year" Sirius pleaded.

Regulus leapt into Sirius' arms and Sirius gave him a big squeeze "I'll write as much as I can, be good" Sirius whispered to his little brother and Regulus ruffled Sirius' hair playfully.

"Oi! Not the hair, you cheeky boy!" Sirius exclaimed pretending to be offended while restyling his semi-long, sleek, dark brown hair and giving the younger boy a grin and a wink.

"Off you go" Walburga had returned to the conversation "Regulus come here" she ordered and Regulus obeyed, returning to his mother's side.

With one last look over his shoulder, Sirius stepped onto the train.

The train was buzzing with anticipating and the joy of reunion. Sirius found an empty carriage and sat down trying to get acquainted with this new feeling of freedom. He was worried for Reg, how everything would be at home without him being able to look out for him. Regulus wasn't like Sirius, he wasn't rebellious or headstrong, but his heart was just as pure.

Sirius was pulled from his worry when the door to the carriage sprung open and a boy his age with jet black, messy hair, glasses, and a mischievous grin slid in. He quickly closed the door again and nodded at Sirius.

 _This boy looks guilty_ Sirius thought to himself.

"I'm James, James Potter," The boy said and looked at Sirius, intrigued 

Of course, a Potter. Sirius knew what company his mother wants him to keep and a muggle loving Potter is not it. Better keep away from this one, nothing but trouble.

James began talking Sirius' ears off, everything from quidditch to Hogwarts houses, the sorting and his family. Sirius is doing his best to be distant and not engage in conversation, which is easy cause nothing could stop this boy from spilling his life story, Sirius thought. It would be nice to have someone to stick with at least on the first day, too bad the first person to talk to him is a muggle loving Potter.

"James!?" a little voice called out as the door slipped open again and a chubby boy tumbled in. The boy was out of breath and seemed nervous, but he had the same mischievous glint in his eye and a hesitant smirk was slowly forming on his face.

James stopped talking and looked at the boy, a couple of seconds of silence and anticipation is broken by James letting out a guffaw followed by a hesitant snort from the other boy. Sirius fought back an oncoming smirk and quickly looked out the window as the train left the platform.

James started talking with the chubby boy, whom Sirius now knew to be Peter Pettigrew. James shot occasional looks at Sirius, but Sirius kept his eyes fixed on the ever-changing landscapes as the train continued further away from London. The city turned to villages and eventually to big green open fields. A plumb lady with a trolly emerges at the door to the carriage

"Anything from the trolly, dears?" She looked at the three boys. Sirius glanced at the woman but said nothing. Peter pulled out a handful of coins from his pocket and bought three cauldron cakes and a liquorice wand. James got up from his seat and got two chocolate frogs.

"Better not buy too much, gotta keep my shape to get on the team," James said with a superficial laugh. The woman left the carriage again as Peter chowed down.

"They never let first-years on the house team!" Peter looked up at James. Sirius looked at Peter for a second but then turned his attention out the window again. He had had an idea of what the express would be like, but he had never pictured it quite like this. Sirius felt a careful touch on his shoulder and looked up at James who was holding out one of his chocolate frogs with a friendly smile

"I'm alright, thanks" Sirius declined the offer, feeling a bit guilty. James shrugged and handed the chocolate carelessly to Peter. Sirius felt bad for declining James' offering, but he knew that the chocolate was not just chocolate, but also an offer of friendship and his mother would never approve of a boy like Potter.

The sky had grown dark as the train arrived at Hogsmeade station. Students rushed out of the train and began to fill the horseless Hogwarts carriages. Peter is right behind James and Sirius is trying to keep a bit to himself, walking a little way behind the others. The first-years are escorted to the lantern-lit boats and begin to fill them. James and Peter quickly get in a boat where three girls are sat and James starts to introduce himself to them. Sirius hesitates a bit, it would have been nice to know someone.

Sirius got some of the wind knocked out of him as a giant hand pushed him forward, towards an unfilled boat

"Ye'll fit 'ere" A giant bearded man uttered to Sirius with kind eyes. Sirius is led to a boat and sits down. As he seated himself he gave the others in the boat a quick look and a polite nod. Sirius wasn't usually shy, but the beginning of school came with a lot of anxiety and pressure, especially when you're the heir to the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black.

Sirius had met the eyes of everyone on the boat except the eyes of one boy. The boy had his eyes fixed on the big glowing castle across the water. His mouth was open slightly in awe of the majestic building. His eyes were glistening with anticipation and his mousy hair had a soft curl. Sirius couldn't help but copy the boy's expression, the castle really did look wonderful and welcoming. 

It looked like magic.


	2. Year one: The lion's den

The great hall was marvellous. Filled with life and laughter. All except the first years were sitting at the long tables, chatting with friends, catching up on events from summer. The headmaster, Dumbledore, stood up and raised his hands, the room fell quiet. Dumbledore wore a long purple robe with silver details, a pointy hat, and had piercing blue eyes behind his half-moon glasses. The hands he held up were worn and wrinkly, slender fingers filled with rings of all sorts.

"Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts!" He spoke with a magnified voice "to our new students, welcome, to our old students, welcome back! Another year full of magical education awaits you..." Dumbledore gave a few routine announcements mostly of dangerous places on the grounds where no student was permitted, he told them of the new tree that had been donated to the school, the whomping willow, Sirius zoned out for a while looking around the big room. He snapped out of it with the sound of applause, he assumed that the announcements were over.

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," an older looking witch spoke to the first years, Sirius remembered her telling them that she is Professor McGonagall, head of Gryffindor House and professor of Transfiguration. She unrolled a long piece of parchment and started calling out names Sirius didn't pay much attention. 

The calling out of names of anxious young faces continued for a while. Sirius had been inspecting the teachers trying to figure out which subject they were going to teach. 

"Black, Sirius" The witch called out.

Butterflies went crazy in Sirius's stomach, he composed himself and undertook his best pureblood posture, back slightly arched, shoulders down, chest up, head high, and chin slightly down. He took long confident strides and kept a slight smirk on his face. He knew what was about to happen, what was expected of him.

He sat on the stool and put the hat on his head

 _Ah, another Black..._ A voice filled his head. _Well, this should be an easy assessment. An incredibly gifted mind, ambitions and resourceful, yes. A fierce leader, sure to do great things. But then again... That might not do..._

Sirius's stomach turned but he sat with the same good posture on the stool, keeping his face unreadable.

_A courageous and determined wizard that's for sure. Hmm, we might try... GRYFFINDOR!!!_

The hats voice now filled the hall and silence fell. Sirius froze. What, how, why, a million thoughts flew through his head. He looked around and saw scowling Slytherins and confused Gryffindors, even some of the teachers seemed puzzled. They all seemed to be thinking the same thing as himself.

"Mr Black" a voice tried to penetrate the wall of shock, Sirius didn't respond, "Mr Black please be seated"

Sirius stood up and a few boos and heckles came from the Slytherin table.

Sirius shook his head softly to snap himself out of it. He took a deep breath and headed to sit at the Gryffindor table. Deep in thought he barely noticed the rest of the ceremony.

"Evans, Lily" _GRYFFINDOR!!!_

What would his mother say, he was sure to receive a howler by tomorrow.

"Lupin, Remus" _GRYFFINDOR!!!_

How could he explain this, there is no explanation.

"Pettigrew, Peter" _GRYFFINDOR!!!_

Why hadn't he said something to the hat, protested?

"Potter, James" _GRYFFINDOR!!! ___

__Had he wanted this? Was the hat wrong? Did the hat know him better than he did?_ _

__Sirius had known for as long as he could remember there was no other house to be sorted into than Slytherin, but it was done now, he hadn't heard of any Blacks being disowned for getting sorted into Gryffindor. Lost in thought, Sirius didn't notice the quick footsteps that caught up to him._ _

__"Quite the show back there, huh" it was James._ _

__Sirius looked James in the eye and furrowed his brow slightly_ _

__"So you're a Black..." James looked as though he was figuring something out in his head. He was about to say something when he was interrupted by the prefect._ _

__"I bet your family will be pretty pissed huh? A Black in Gryffindor, hah, what are you gonna do next? Take pity on house-elves?" James continued in a slightly lowered voice as the prefect started calling out names..._ _

__"Black, Lupin, Pettigrew, and Potter, you're up the stairs and to the right"_ _

__The four boys looked at each other and then walked single file up the stairs._ _

__In the room, they found their trunks had already been placed by the foot of each of the four beds. Sirius' was number two from the window._ _

__The four boys started settling in. Sirius was by the window setting up his record player, James was putting up his quidditch posters, Peter was watching James listening to him blabber on about the teams on the posters, and Remus is sitting on his bed. Sirius catches Remus looking at him and Remus starts talking to defuse the awkward moment._ _

__"Which do you 'ave?" Remus exclaimed_ _

__"Sorry what?" Sirius was pulled out of this train of thought, shook his head slightly, and looked at Remus again._ _

__"Records. Which do you 'ave?" Remus repeated and pointed at the stack of records Sirius had piled up beside the player._ _

__"Oh, um" Sirius looked at the stack, but before he could answer the boy's question, Remus had jumped down beside the pile and began looking through._ _

__"Hah, these are like love songs!" Remus chuckled, still skimming through the songs_ _

__"Haha yeah, they're the only ones I could get a hold of" Sirius replied heat going to his ears. He didn't usually get embarrassed, but he wanted to at least seem cool in front of his new roommates. Remus' eyes lingered on Sirius for a little while, before snapping back to the record in his hands._ _

__"Cool." Remus said and jumped onto his bed._ _

__Relieved, Sirius finished what he was doing and got onto his own bed pulling out a book and tried to read a bit with James and Peter still discussing quidditch in the background._ _

__"How... Do you guys feel about pranks?" James broke away from the discussion with Peter and looked around at the boys with a daring glint in his eye. Remus looked up at the impatient boy_ _

__"I'm up for anything, bored out me mind" Remus exclaimed a grin forming on his face._ _

__Sirius knew that he shouldn't, he is the heir to the most ancient and noble house of Black, it wouldn't be proper to go around and execute pranks with a Potter._ _

__The three boys looked at Sirius with anticipation_ _

__Screw it_ _

__Sirius grinned and the other boys cheered_ _

__"Alright then! Now what should we do?"_ _


	3. Year one: The start of something beautiful

The prank went well. James had used a vanishing spell on the other Gryffindor boys’ left socks and Peter, who hadn’t mastered the vanishing spell just yet, had mixed up all the shoes so some students had shoes three sizes too big and some had two right shoes. A mild and maybe pathetic prank, but none of the boys had been able to come up with something better. 

The weekend had passed by exploring the castle and getting to know each other. James was an only child, which didn’t surprise Sirius, actually, it had explained a lot. Sirius liked James, despite all the awful things his mother had tried to teach him about the Potters. His mother might not like that he hung out with James Potter and he was sure to get a scolding about the newforming friendship when he returned home during the holiday break. He hoped she would go easy on him, maybe it would help a bit that James was from a pure-blood family. Sirius had never understood the whole blood-purity thing, but it meant a whole lot to the Blacks. 

Peter had muggle relatives and two sisters, one aged nine and one aged sixteen, the latter currently in sixth year at Hogwarts. Peter had only talked to her a couple of times over the weekend, she had been surprisingly symmetrical, and didn't look like Peter at all, Sirius had thought. 

Remus had not been so keen to share his life story, from the start he had been very private. What they had gathered so far was that he was an only child, like James, his parents weren’t together, and that he was now living with his father somewhere in the north of London. 

Sirius had opened up a bit especially to James. He had decided that there was no point in trying to keep himself locked away, they were in fact going to be roommates for seven years. He talked about his family, about the pure-blood mania, though they had all heard of the Black family before. He spoke about how he was convinced he would be in Slytherin,  
“Nah mate, you’re too cool to be a Slytherin, did you see them? They look greasy” James has exclaimed with a degrading laugh  
“Oi! That’s like, my whole family you’re talking about!” Sirius countered  
James gave Sirius a knowing glance and raised an eyebrow, Sirius broke out in laughter.  
Sirius liked talking to James and they had grown surprisingly close after just a weekend. They had a lot in common in a lot of ways, but still, they were different in just as many.  
As the two pure-bloods had gotten closer the rest of the roommates were in a way, just tagging along. Peter tailed the pair practically everywhere, trying to get a word in, but Remus usually kept to himself, only keeping close enough as to not make the seclusion apparent. Sirius noticed that Remus had disappeared completely the night before the first day of classes. Actually, he didn’t reappear till breakfast on day two looking rather washed-out.  
“Goodmorning!” James smiled at Remus, looking too excited for a Tuesday morning.  
“Mornin’,” Remus said groggily as he sat down and filled his plate with scrambled eggs. He looked at James in confusion about the cheery attitude on a September morning. Sirius caught this and answered Remus’ unspoken question. James had not noticed Remus’ confusion, too focused on a group of girls further down the table  
“We have a flying lesson this afternoon” Sirius explained. This revelation about their mandatory afternoon plans only seemed to make Remus greener in the face.  
“Anyway, where were you yesterday?” Sirius inquired trying to divert the conversation to another topic while looking at Remus who now was trying to avoid meeting the other boys’ eyes.  
“Oh, i- I was.” Remus stuttered but was interrupted by the owls that suddenly flooded the room. A massive, brown, great horned owl dropped a letter by Sirius’ hand and soared out of the room again, it made the boy forget his previous interrogation. A letter from Regulus, no howler. Sirius was relieved. He hastily opened the letter.

_Hello Sirius  
Thank you for your previus letter, it was good to hear from you and to know that you are well. Mother was angry when she herd you got sorted into grifindor, but it was not so bad.  
I miss you lots, it is boring hear without you, mother is making me reed a lot and i am practising my writing and spelling. It is good that your room mates are cool, i wish i had some frends now that you are not home.  
I can't wait to come with you next year and I am holding on, like you told me to.  
your brother and sincerly  
Regulus Arcturus Black_

Sirius smiled and slipped the letter into his pocket. James was explaining the rules and strategies of quidditch to Remus, who Sirius had found out had a rather severe case of acrophobia as the boys finished up breakfast and headed to their first lesson: Potions with Slytherin. 

“Welcome students!” a pudgy, grey man greeted, as the last student had found their seat. For some reason, the man reminded Sirius of some kind of snail. “I am professor Slughorn, I will be teaching you the diligent art of potion brewing, or at least I will try” The older man skimmed through the faces of his new students as if he was searching for someone, lingering just a few seconds longer on Sirius.  
“Well,” he looked around the class again, “What do you know of the Forgetfulness Potion?”  
The lesson passed rather quickly, a few students had managed to produce the draught, James had somehow managed to create an almost perfect concoction, Sirius seemed to have a natural talent for potion brewing as well, or just a natural talent of watching over James’ shoulder. Peter and Remus had not been so lucky, there was a hole at the bottom of Peter cauldron and Remus' spoon was slowly melting away with each stir. The other students who had managed the lessons task almost perfectly were the redheaded girl Evans and a timid, black-haired Slytherin boy called Snape. The pair had worked together, but both seemed quite advanced in their studies.  
The morning went by in a flash, Sirius enjoyed the classes, it came easy to him as he had been taught a lot of the basics at home it gave him an advantage and time to put his focus elsewhere. Sirius would sit in the back, having already finished his work, messing with the other students, most times the teasing was aimed at the cocky Slitherin boys who reminded Sirius of his relatives.  
Lunch was a big assortment of the most delicious food, roast chicken, potatoes, gravy, whatever your heart may desire, all washed down with a pint of pumpkin juice.  
“Finally the time has come!” James began, Sirius rolled his eyes and got ready for another speech “The moment we’ve all been waiting for!” he continued, having ignored Sirius' protest and annoyance  
“No, actually James, I‘ aven’t” Remus interrupted  
“Leaving the ground once more, to show our worth, in the best sport in the world,” James ignored Remus as well and left a dramatic pause while looking around at his friends “Quidditch” he beamed.  
“You know, James, we’re probably not even going to be playing quidditch in the first lesson, and it’s a _flying_ lesson, not a quidditch lesson.” Sirius pointed out with a grin before taking another swig of his pumpkin juice.  
James looked at Sirius for a bit, not seeming bothered by his input, “Same same” James countered.  
“God help us all” Remus fretted as they exited the great hall heading for their flying lesson.


	4. Year one: The flying lesson

The weather was with the class this September afternoon, the sun was warming, but covered with clouds and there was little to no wind. The class was lined up, brooms in front of them.   
“Hello, children! I am Benjamin Boone, you may call me Mr Boone” the mature, rather charming man addressed the class. Sirius felt himself correct his posture, his interest had peaked, for some reason, Sirius felt a desire to impress. Looking around he saw that James was sporting an overly confident grin and seemed just as ready, if not more, to give it his all. Remus, on the other hand, was picking at the skin around his nails, eyes skipping from face to face to broom as if to see if anyone else was feeling like him Sirius caught his eye and gave him a reassuring smile.   
“For our first lesson, we will start with the basics of mounting and hovering on the broomsticks” The teacher continued. “Stretch out your arm, place your hand above the staff, and firmly say ‘up’,”  
Sirius did as instructed and at once, he was gripping the broom firmly in his hand. He looked at James only to see the boy also looking at him, satisfaction in his eyes and his broom in his hand. Sirius wondered who had been the quickest. Other students were excelling and seemed to be just as gifted as Sirius and James, particularly a girl Sirius knew to be Marlene Mckinnon, who looked like she had been holding her broom longer than either of the two friends. Peter was trying his utmost to summon the broom to his hand, but with little to no prevail. The shaft was merely bouncing around on the grass below his plump hand as the boy desperately and anxiously tried to follow Mr Boones instructions. Remus, on the other hand, seemed to have given up after his first reluctant attempt   
“Oh well, guess I’ll just be watching from the ground today, too bad” He stated, putting his hands up in retreat.   
“Oh come on Remus! You’ll get it, just try again” James urged, giving Remus a slightly manic, but reassuring smile. Remus rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at James.   
“Very true Mr Potter,” Mr Boone supplied “Mr Lupin, do have another go, I'm certain you’ll be in the air in no time!”   
These words of encouragement did not seem to heighten Remus’ enthusiasm, but he obeyed and reluctantly tried again.   
“You need to be firmer, Remus” Sirius advised “Try again, but firmer, envision the broom coming to your hand”   
Remus looked tentatively at Sirius who gave a reassuring nod.   
“Oh bugger off Black” Remus huffed, stretched his back, held out his hand again and firmly said “UP!”. The broom was now in his hand.  
“Well done Mr Lupin.” Mr Boone approved  
“FUCKING YES REMUS!! I knew you could do it!!” James cheered and gave Remus a clap on the back  
“Language Mr Potter!” Mr Boone intoned giving James a sharp look. Sirius burst out in laughter.   
“Alrighty, now that we all have summoned our brooms you are to mount them and push off the ground at the count of three” The class all mounted their brooms and got ready for take-off “One, two, three!” The class kicked off the ground and hovered for a minute before retreating firmly back to the ground. However as Sirius was on the ground again above him was a student, seeming to ascend instead of following suit. Remus. 

“Mr Lupin, come down at once!” Mr Boone called out, but Remus seemed to have no control over his broom, now close to ten meters above the ground looking white as a sheet. What in the world is he doing, Sirius thought.   
“Remus mate, come down” James urged looking worried up at Remus. You could practically see the broom shaking with Remus whose face was covered in a panic. Before thinking, Sirius was in the air as well, bolting towards Remus who was now nearing twenty meters from the ground.  
“Mr Black!” The teacher called after Sirius.   
“Remus what the hell are you doing!?” Sirius exclaimed trying to catch the eye of a hyperventilating Remus clinging to his broom for dear life. “Remus look at me” Sirius prodded “Remus, hey” still to no avail “REMUS!” Remus’ face yanked to meet Sirius’, tears forming in his amber eyes, still fighting to breathe on the wobbling broom.   
“Remus try to get down,” Sirius advised Remus, reaching out to try to steady Remus.   
“Oh wow, thanks for the brilliant advice!” Remus sneered with sarcasm.   
“No need to be rude Remus, only trying to help” Sirius grinned  
“I don't need your help!” Remus shot back angrily. Sirius inched his broom closer to Remus and put his hand on his shoulder.   
“Don’t touch me!” Remus flinched as he let go of the broom with one hand to latch out at Sirius. As he let go of the broom he lost his balance and with a shriek from Sirius, Remus crashed towards the ground.

The teacher had cast the cushioning charm just a moment too late and Remus now lay motionless on the ground. Sirius was not far behind him, now at his side looking as pale and fearful as Remus had in the air. He stood a little way away from Remus’ still body on the grass, hands shaking, eyes fixed on his injured friend. In a matter of seconds, James was at Remus’ side with a hand on his upward-facing back.  
“Remus? Remus, can you hear me?” James said worriedly.   
“Please stand aside Mr Potter” Mr Boone hastily approached the boys “Class dismissed, I’ll see you next week” He summoned a stretcher and steered Remus to the hospital wing.   
James turned to Sirius who had been frozen in the same spot during the ordeal.   
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly  
“I-I did that, it’s my fault, I-i” Sirius shivered with an empty gaze fixed where Remus had been a moment ago.   
“You were trying to help, we all know that” James comforted placing a reluctant hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “Besides, that teacher wasn’t much help, you did more than that old crow” James joshed trying to snap Sirius out of the chock.   
“Let's go” James prompted looking towards the castle where Remus and Mr Boone had entered.


	5. Year one: Scars

The three boys arrived at the hospital wing and found their friend in a bed with his injured arm exposed. As the boys neared their friend, madam Pomfrey came to Remus’ side.   
“How is he?” James asked, looking from madam Pomfrey to Remus.   
“Broke his arm the poor dear and a hefty concussion, but nothing that isn’t easily fixed,” The woman told the boys as she smiled at Remus “I gave him a sleeping draught, he needs rest.” she looked sternly at the eager boys looking at Remus “You can stay for a little while, but then you must be off” and with that, she went on with her business. 

Peter sat on the chair beside Remus’ bed and James stepped closer, Sirius was keeping his distance. His eyes flickered to Remus’ exposed arm and his heart sank, the pale arm was covered in scars, he felt a shiver go down his back and he swallowed hard. James saw Sirius’ expression and followed his glance to see Remus’ arm as well. He took Remus’ sheet and tucked Remus in, covering the arm.   
“Do you reckon he’ll wake up soon?” Peter queried looking up at James.  
“Nah, we should go, he needs rest” James replied. 

Sirius felt guilty, maybe if he had just stayed on the ground.   
“It’s not your fault Sirius” James declared. Sirius looked up at him and smiled a bit  
“Yeah I know” Sirius answered looking back down at his potato and chicken filled plate.   
“Do you?” James added still looking at Sirius who was still looking down.   
“Yeah” Sirius replied, still not seeming convinced.   
“Remus” James looked up at Remus who was approaching the table. Sirius and Peter looked up as well as Remus sat down starting to fill his plate. Sirius couldn’t help but look at Remus’ arm, though it was now covered by a sweater, it was as though Sirius could still see all the markings he had seen earlier.   
“How are you?” James asked softly, looking at Remus with concern.   
“I’m alright” Remus reassured, topping his plate off with a healthy serving of gravy.   
“Remus,” Sirius started apprehensively, slowly shifting his gaze from Remus’ arm to his eyes “I-i’m really sorry, i shouldn’t have pressured you like that, I never meant for you to fall or get hurt or, you know, break your arm.” Sirius pointed awkwardly at Remus' injured arm which Remus jerked away out of Sirius’ sight. Sirius looked at Remus apologetic wishing the boy would say something.   
“I’ve had worse, believe me, can we just leave it be now?” Remus grumbled, starting to shovel food into his mouth as if he hadn’t eaten in days.   
“Yeah, just, I’m really sorry,” Sirius continued  
“Jesus Christ, will you let me eat!?” Remus snapped 

The weeks went by rather quickly, the incident at their first flying class was at good as forgotten at least if you asked the four Gryffindor boys. The story of the flying lesson had spread and Remus had been receiving heckles from some Slytherin students. Remus was trying his best to stay out of their way if not to keep them from teasing him, also to keep himself from starting a fight, something that seemed to come easy to Remus. The first time someone had commented on the incident, Remus had practically jumped them, it took both James and Sirius to hold him back, for a boy looking so scrawny he had the power of seven horses.   
In the evenings Remus was in his bed behind the curtains, James and Sirius were usually playing exploding snap with Peter watching while listening to Sirius’ record player which was usually roaring with country love songs much to others annoyance.   
Sirius had grown quite close to James. James was wise beyond his years and Sirius had a lot to talk about, stuff that he had never had anyone to talk about with, well except Regulus, but he wasn’t as wise as James, and he was his little brother. That’s not quite the same as having a best friend. Most nights, Sirius would crawl past James’ curtains and cast a silencing spell, a spell he had mastered at a very young age. They would talk all night and usually, Sirius would fall asleep, curled up at the foot of James’ bed having been too tired to find his way back to his own. 

One evening when Sirius had crept into James’ bed and cast the silencing spell, the topic of conversation fell on Remus.  
“You saw it too, didn’t you?” Sirius asked James whose expression turned serious.   
“Yeah I did, but it’s not our place, Sirius, if he wants to talk about it, it’s his decision”   
“But we’re his friends” Sirius exclaimed, throwing himself backwards to lay on his back.  
“I know, Sirius, but stuff like that can be hard to talk about” James counselled.  
“Yeah, I know it is.” Sirius did know how difficult it could be to talk about scars, it was one of the only things about himself that he had not shared with James.   
Sirius’ mind flashed back to a dark room where his father usually punished him, a good beating with a cane never failed to reclaim a fleeting mind.   
“Sirius” James hesitated and looked at Sirius with wondering eyes. “Are you okay?”   
“Yeah, I’m pretty tired though so…” Sirius replied, sitting back up. 

That night Sirius went back to his own bed. He had a lot to think about and didn’t feel like sharing it with James just yet. How did Remus get those scars? Would it be inconsiderate to ask? His thoughts ran wild until he slowly drifted into a peaceful sleep. 

Time flew by like never before, Sirius was doing good in all of his classes, though he never felt a need to study. Maybe it was his natural charm or his beaming charisma, he really could talk his way out of anything. This charm did not go unnoticed, Sirius had become quite infamous. He and James were quite the duo, filling every room they entered. Though not everyone was impressed by the pair. A girl, Lily Evans, shot angry glares at the boys whenever they rove havoc or maintained loud discussions in the common room. Also, the fact that they never studied annoyed her. Not because she thought of their prospects, but because she desperately wanted to excel at every class and studied hard to obtain her goal. Here they waltzed along, not having spared homework a single thought, and they placed on top in most subjects. 

Time kept running wild and before Sirius knew it, a very special day was coming up. A day he always looked forward to, the best day of every year if you asked him. 

His birthday.


	6. Year one: A day to remember

##### November 3th 1971

It must have been four am when Sirius found himself wide awake. He was simply too excited for the dawning day to sleep any longer. As he lay awake he fantasized about the day, wondered what his friends would do.  
At five am he simply couldn’t take it anymore, he put on his pyjamas and crawled into James’ bed.  
“James?” He whispered, “James, are you awake?” James groaned and his eyes blinked open.  
“Sirius, what are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night” James yawned.  
“No, it’s not, it’s practically morning!” Sirius replied filled with enthusiasm “The sun’s up and everything, just look!” Sirius pulled open the curtains letting in the morning sun. James quickly ducked under his covers  
“Sirius! What the fuck!?” James bleated “Get out of here, now, I’m sleeping”  
“But don’t you know what day it is?! There’s no time for sleep!” Sirius exclaimed maybe a bit too enthusiastically.  
“Shut it, Sirius! Contrary to your belief, the world does not revolve around you.” Remus growled from behind his own curtains.  
Sirius looked at James, who was peeping out from under the covers with an agreeing look. His heart sank, disappointment swallowed him whole.  
“Oh,” Sirius muttered, “Well, I'll… I'll just.” Sirius retreated to his own bed closing the curtains and hiding under the covers trying to ignore the growing pit in his stomach. 

A little time passed when Sirius suddenly heard taps on the window. He opened his curtains and saw a familiar owl impatiently tapping the window. Sirius jumped out of his bed and let the owl in, taking the letter from the foot and letting the owl fly off. 

_Hello Sirius  
I hope this letter reatces you on your birthday. If so: Happy birthday!  
I still miss you and please write to me more offen.  
I am sorry that I can’t give you a present, but I hope your frends can give you something.  
Mother will be wanting an explanation about you being in grifindor when you come home for chrismas._

_Happy birthday and see you soon_

_your brother and sincerly_

_Regulus Arcturus Black_

Sirius had a wide smile on his face as he read the letter a couple of times. He held it to his chest, missing his little brother more than ever. 

As Sirius showered and got ready for the day, he heard his roommates shuffling from the other side of the door. He felt anger flutter in his stomach, why had they been so rude to him earlier?  
“Goodmorning” James was getting dressed beside his bed.  
“‘Morning” Sirius responded in a flat tone not looking up at James. He went to his own bed and got dressed. When he was ready he marched towards the door.  
“I’ll be ready in a moment, just give me…” James was cut off by Sirius slamming the door behind him as he had left the room and headed for breakfast.  
“What’s got his knickers in a knot?” Remus commented while looking at James. 

As he entered the great hall he spotted Lily and her usual gang of first-year Gryffindor girls sitting at the table. He went over to sit with them.  
“Hiya Sirius” Mary greeted him with a smirk.  
“Hi…” Sirius scoffed as he placed a tall stack of pancakes on his plate and poured syrup over the construction.  
He sat down and began eating his breakfast, he was not going to let the early mornings events ruin his day.  
The other three boys came in, sat with the group at the table and began eating. Had they forgotten? Or not known? That was unlikely since the day was all Sirius had been talking about the last week. So maybe they just didn’t care.  
“Sirius!” a voice called to his left side from a little further down the table. Sirius looked up with excitement, finally, someone addressed him. He felt the anger subside and a hesitant smile creep upon his face.  
“Pass me the syrup?” The student, Marlene, asked, with a shy smile and thanked Sirius as he handed over the syrup sinking lower than before. 

During lessons, nobody seemed to take notice of the fact that it was Sirius’ birthday. After lunch, Sirius had had enough and wanted to be alone. He decided to skip afternoon lessons and instead went to the dorm. He lay down on his bed and stared into thin air. Suddenly a now-familiar tab came from the window. A large owl was outside with an even larger letter. Sirius jumped up and flung open the window retrieving the delivery and began inspecting the package.

 _To Sirius Orion Black  
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry  
Boys dormitory, Gryffindor tower, Scotland  
-A.B.  
_ A.B. Sirius thought to himself, he scanned through all the A.B. he could think of… Uncle Alphard! Sirius felt a flutter in his stomach and ripped open the package, It had been a while since Sirius had heard from his uncle. The package held two things: A letter and a big record with a jean-covered crotch on the front. Sirius inspected the record, turning it over and reading the tracklist. Sirius shifted his attention to the letter and quickly opened it. 

_My dearest nephew  
Happy birthday!  
Now that I can reach you without my letters having to go through your lovely mother, I wanted to give you this record, that I’m sure she would never let you have. It’s ‘Sticky fingers’ by The Rolling Stones, I hope you like it.  
I hear you got sorted into Gryffindor, your mother must be fuming. I’m sure you’ll do great things regardless.  
Do try to stay out of trouble, but remember to have fun.  
Utilize your newfound freedom!_

_Yours sincerely_

__

_Alphard Black  
ps. you might want to not bring your new record home, I’m afraid it would be eliminated on sight._

Sirius took another look at the record loving it already. He carefully put the record on and the music started playing. Suddenly, being twelve was starting to feel better. Sirius sat on the windowsill and looked out, listening to the sweet tunes. 

He heard footsteps come up the stairwell to the dorm and checked the time; afternoon lessons weren’t supposed to finish for at least another 45 minutes. Sirius looked at the door as it opened and Remus slipped in the room. He looked up at Sirius.  
“Whatcha doing ‘ere?” Remus asked  
“Could ask you the same question, Lupin…” Sirius shot back, annoyance in his voice.  
“Yeah, guess you could…” Remus agreed and walked towards Sirius looking at the new record. “This one’s new?” He took it and looked over the tracks “Don’t look like them love songs you listen too.” Remus looked up at Sirius  
“No, um, yeah it’s new. My uncle gave it to me... Because it's my birthday… Today, so,” Sirius remarked, looking at Remus.  
“Well, happy birthday then” Remus smiled uncomfortably at Sirius, he looked like he wanted to say something else, but quickly looked away again and put down the record.  
“Cheers,” Sirius responded, slightly bitter.  
“Well, I’ll go again then,” Remus turned back and walked out the door “See you at dinner” 

Nothing special happened at dinner, everyone was eating, not saying much. In his friends’ company, Sirius felt the growing pit from earlier in his stomach.  
“Hey, Sirius?” Sirius looked up from his plate and saw Mary looking at him, he raised an eyebrow at her, urging her to go on. “Do you think you can help me with some transfiguration work in the library after dinner?” She asked with a smile and a twinkle in her eye, batting her long black eyelashes at him.  
“Um, can’t Lily help you?” Sirius was confused, why would she ask him? Lily was just as good as Sirius at transfiguration, if not better, though that was something he would never admit.  
“Please” She whined, giving Sirius puppy eyes.  
“No Macdonald, I’m tired, I just want this day to be over with.” Sirius seethed, looking back down to his plate. He didn’t catch Mary looking helplessly at James and Lily.  
“Oh come on Sirius, can’t you see the girl wants your help?” James nudged Sirius and gave him a wink.  
“Fine, but I won't stay long.” 

Mary practically dragged Sirius to the library as he swallowed the last of his dinner. They stayed there for a while, whenever Sirius thought Mary had gotten a hang of it, another thing popped up that she needed help with.  
“That’s it, Macdonald, I’m heading back now” Sirius got up and stretched. The wooden chair that had grown quite uncomfortable. Mary nervously checked the time then looked up at Sirius.  
“Alright, let’s go then.” Mary got up as well and they headed for the Gryffindor tower.

“SURPRISE!!!” The common room roared as an army of friendly faces beamed at Sirius who stood gobsmacked just inside the portrait.  
“Oh, you fucking pricks!” Sirius barked loudly at James, Remus, Peter, the girls, and what looked like all of the Gryffindor house.  
“You really think we’d forget!? How daft are you!?” James came over and gave Sirius a quick hug. “You haven’t been able to shut up about it for the past two weeks!”  
The pit was gone, Sirius felt stinging in his eyes and his throat started to close up  
“Aw, pull it together Black you big wuss” Remus had clearly taken notice of Sirius' welling emotions.  
“Shut it, Lupin” Sirius couldn't remember ever feeling joy like this, this was the best thing that had ever happened to him, even if his friends now thought he was a wuss.


End file.
